Lessons from my grandma

I have had my grandmas on my mind this week.

My maternal grandmother passed away last April, after having lived a very long and productive life. I am ashamed to say that although we have had the CD recording of her funeral at our house for awhile, I did not get around to listening to it until over the Christmas break.

My mom gave an amazing tribute to my grandma. It was really great. I could picture my grandma as my mom spoke about her, and it helped me to visualize her as a much younger woman, which was wonderful because to me she was always old.

My mom (and everyone else who spoke at the funeral) talked about how my grandma was such a hard worker, and it's true. She was known for her industry. My mom told about how hard she worked even as a little girl. Her dad was kind of hard on her and worked her on the farm a lot. At one point he decided he should lighten up on her, so he gave her some more free time and ended up hiring 2 men in her place - whom he soon fired to take his little girl back because she did more than both of them. Yep, that's my grandma. She almost wore it as a badge of honor.

She also did things like bottle produce for other moms in the neighborhood because they were "so busy." This was coming from the lady who worked full time outside the home and had 7 children. I also remember her planting a humongous garden even up until her 90s, tending it carefully every day, and then giving 90% of the produce away to people who needed it. I lived in her ward and she would sometimes have me deliver this produce to people who were living in $500,000 homes. Yet, she felt that they needed it more than she did, so she would work day in and day out to do that for them.

Yep, that was my grandma, and I admire her so greatly for it. She really was amazing that way. I think the hard work kept her alive for so long, really.

And yet, as I listened to it, I couldn't help but think: At this moment, I am my grandma. And, I don't like it.

Now, I do not even claim to do a quarter of what my grandma did. And yet, I often find myself volunteering for things that I really have no time for. I do everything in 3's: Three jobs, three kids, three church callings. And while I do like to be industrious and "busy", I can't help but wonder if some things, very important things, have fallen by the wayside.

Do I want to be remembered as someone who worked hard, or someone who loved hard?

Do I want my kids to remember me running from one place to another like a chicken with her head cut off, or do I want them to remember me taking time every day to sit quietly with them?

Tonight I did something that I have not done in a while. I ran out of work (haha, rereading this now makes me laugh but I'm leaving it in anyway) so I sat with Sis while she practiced the piano. She has a lesson tomorrow and I want to make sure she's ready, so I sat there with her and had her play for me, and I realized - man, she has grown! In so many ways, really. She wears a bigger shoe than I do now. She plays the piano way better than I remember her doing just yesterday, it seems. She understands things I didn't think she did.

All I could think was - man, I am missing out. My baby...the BABY baby, will be out of the house in 10 years. The last 10 years flew by. How quickly will the next 10 go?

It sounds like "someone" needs to get her priorities straight.

So, while I appreciate the lessons my grandma taught me, my focus in the next while is to become a little less busy with things that don't matter and a little more busy with things that do.