Goodbye November

I cannot believe November is over already. What? I am so not ready for Christmas, and usually I'm *way* over it (the shopping) by this point. Not looking forward to shopping in December!

Thought I would give a few updates since I haven't blogged much lately:

-I took my transcription test again, and thought it was harder than the first time. I'm less confident about it than I was when I got my 83%. That's a big UGH! I should have my results by tomorrow night but I'm not especially hopeful. Still one more chance to pass this dumb class if I still don't get my 85%.

-My transcription job still hasn't started yet, as my cousin (who I will be working for) has some other issues to deal with right now. Hopefully soon.

-I did start another job, just an hour a week, teaching English to a little Japanese girl. It's been fun but she is so young. I don't know how much is sinking in.

-Report cards for the middle schoolers came out, and Sis got a 4.0. A in everything except for the A+'s. :) So proud of my Sis, she is so much smarter than her parents were at that age!

-Parent teacher conferences happened in November and they were *mostly* positive. Good job girls! Looks like mom and dad need to do a little tutoring in math. Not sure if we will be the ones being tutored or if we will be able to figure it out and tutor the children.

-We moved our toy room into the basement, and are making the old toy room into the office and the old office into -- nothing really. I am really liking the change so far, although I'm trying to find ways to make the basement not so "basement-ish" without spending any money on it. I hung white sheets for the "walls" to cover up the storage areas and lighten it up a bit. I think I might paint the wood and pipes on the ceiling since we can't afford to put in a real ceiling right now. Mostly it just needs cleaning up of the cobwebs and such and then it will be a fun room and hopefully keep the mess there.

-Christmas decorating is done, at least inside. I love sitting there in a dark room with nothing but Christmas lights on. It's so cozy.

-Still cannot find the camera cord, so boring words instead of pictures for now.

Finally, I wanted to give my opinion on something I watched on GMA this morning. It's a topic I've written about before at Mormon Momma. Apparently, 20% of those divorcing are saying that facebook was instrumental in their split, and 80% of divorce attorneys say that there is dramatic rise in those mentioning facebook as a factor in their split. So, the question is, is it dangerous to your marriage to be on facebook?

My opinion? Yes and no. I do know of marriages that have broken up because online relationships have gotten out of control. The key is, I believe, this: Are you focusing your time in real life communicating with your spouse? Because people like to communicate! If you are not talking to them, most likely they will talk to someone, whether that is chatting with their girlfriends on the phone or facebooking with old (or new) flames. Thus, it would make sense that if you are investing in your marriage as you should be, you will not be vulnerable to a facebook fling. Having said that, facebook does make it very easy and tempting, particularly with the ease at which you can find old flames and rekindle something. I think it's wise to have a few ground rules if you are going to use facebook (other than working on your real-life relationships first and foremost):

1. Make it clear that you are married and not looking.
2. Only friend members of the opposite sex that your spouse also knows, or you have at least told him who they are and how you are connected. Does that mean you should never be friends with an ex? I think it really depends on the relationship and how serious it was, etc. I certainly have facebook friends who I have been on dates with, maybe even a few that progressed to more than a date or two. But all of those had a clear and final "end" and all of them also had other connections - we went to high school together, for example. There is no chance I would start up a romantic relationship with any of these men. If there is someone on your friends list that you question "would I try to start something up with this person if I were single?", I would say that person should NOT be your facebook friend. Personal choice, but I would also not be facebook friends with someone I had a deeper past relationship with. Casual boyfriend? Perhaps. The guy you almost married? Not so much.
3. Don't get in a chat habit. I personally like to "hide" when I am on facebook, because if I want to talk to someone I'll find a way - I don't want to just chat with whomever might also be online at that particular moment. When you are "hiding", you won't see who else is online and they won't see you. To me, it lessens the temptation when you are bored to just sit and "shoot the breeze" with someone, which is both a time waster and a possible temptation. If there is someone you need to talk to, call them, email, message them, or chat with them through another avenue.
4. Know your facebook friends "in real life". Don't make friendships, especially with members of the opposite sex, who you meet online. You don't know ANYTHING about who these people really are. If you don't believe me, go see the movie "Catfish". It will open your eyes.

In a nutshell, ask yourself: "Would I talk to this person if my husband was here? Would I say what I am saying if he were sitting next to me? Would my husband's feelings be hurt if he knew I was facebook friends with this person? Is this person a 'temptation' to me?"

If there is a problem there, fix it. O be wise, what I can say more?